Tag Archives: midwife

Riding the Rollercoaster of my Pregnancy

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Today I thought I was making some good headway in figuring out what I could afford and what pieces I needed to work on solidifying to make the birthing situation a comfortable one. I had to make compromises but I was willing to live with them. Then, later tonight, Billy and I started talking finances for real. It seems that things are going to be really tight. I was being overly optimistic. Well, I guess I am happy about the optimism part, as well as making some headway and decisions. As it stands with today’s optimistic plan I will be broke (no exaggeration) by August and unable to buy a ticket to see my brother’s wedding. Yikes. Then I would be relying on Billy to support me, the baby, and himself while I bond with and take care of the baby before returning to work. This is a heavy weight.

Now I am stepping back and utilizing the “necessity is the mother of invention” tool for creating something out of nothing. Hey, I did that in my uterus, shouldn’t I be able to do it with finances?

It was pointed out to me that I should appreciate what I have. The opportunity to have my baby in a good hospital (CPMC, which people in the Bay Area call “the baby factory”) and if all goes well, at a minimal cost. Doulas and midwives are seemingly luxuries. I just don’t trust that the doctor’s best interests and my best interests are aligned. Why can’t I have the luxury of choosing the birth I want?

Am I being a brat? Unrealistic? Ungrateful?
I don’t know. Probably.
I do know that I am frustrated with lack of insurance coverage (or any sort of funding for that matter) for doulas and midwives. These professionals actually cost less! AND, they statistically have better outcomes with less interventions!

I am frustrated and appreciative, and open to the possibility of making money.

“I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.”

-Frank Herbert, Dune

The Midwife Responses Begin To Roll In

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I sent out the email I drafted yesterday to the midwifes on Star’s list a half hour ago and I already got a response! The woman who emailed me said she would call me tomorrow. I am excited that it has begun. Everyone in the home birthing community seems so nice and supportive. I feel blessed. The woman who wrote me said to check out her website and on her site I found this quote:

“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart.

Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens.”

-Jung

This is quote has come to me in good time and is yet another blessing. It speaks to what I currenly am struggling with and have been looking at changing in my life (in general).

Doula Star

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In my quest to find a doula I spoke with a wonderful, supportive woman named Pamela Star last night about my situation, her services and other possibilities.

In a selfless, sincere manner, she offered me advise on looking into the home birth I ideally would like to have. Best case senario is that it would end up costing about the same amount of money to have a home birth midwife birth me at home as it would for a hospital stay and a doula. Who knows what will actually happen though. There is the possibility that I could end up paying both a midwife AND the hospital fees if I had to birth at the hospital.

I have drafted an email that I will send out tomorrow to midwives to see if anyone would be interested and available to take me on. My due date is fast approaching so it could be tricky to find a midwife who is not already booked. In addition, it is summer time when people are going on vacation.

Ideally I would hire a midwife as well as Star (Pamela Star) as my doula and have my baby at home. I wonder where this adventure will take me?

Update from the Doctor’s office

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Today was my first doctor’s visit since I was released from the hospital. It went well. She anticipates that I will make it to about 32 weeks judging by how things are progressing and what a good patient I have been. She did take another fFN. This test is to see what the chances are that I could deliver in the next 7-14 days. I think the results come back early next week.

She gave me a little more leeway in the amount I am able to sit up but, I am still to be conservative. Sitting up really helps when I have indigestion, when writing blog posts and emails, among other things, so I am very thankful!

She taught me how to super dose myself “safely” (meaning without overdosing) with the Nifedipine, or as she calls it “STAT dose” (for more immediate effect). This is for when I have those hours with more than 6 contractions. We don’t want more than six per hour. I tried the STAT does today when I had 8 in one hour. Wow, it sort of messed me up, but it did stop the contractions for a while. When the contractions started again they were less frequent. Ah medicine… you are wondrous and scary.

I believe she said if I make it to week 35 I can have one of their nurse midwives deliver the baby. As it is now, I am under doctor care. I am hopeful that I will make it to midwife delivery status and am even considering continuing my homebirth midwife search as well as figuring out how to fund it. Well, one day at a time. I can tend to get stressed and overwhelmed worrying about all these details and right now, I have to focus on being a good, relaxed incubator for the little guy.

*taking a deep breath*

Birthing Plan & Doulas

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I just drafted out a birthing plan using a customizable form on at justmommies.com. It helped in getting my brain storming and asking questions. I have more to learn about all the options and what they mean and what alternatives there are. Then, I have to find out if the doctors will allow my wishes to be carried out. I had interviewed one of the two nurse-midwifes at my OB/GYN’s office last month but I believe that while I am still considered in a “high risk pregnancy” that one of the three doctors at my OB/GYN’s office (whoever is on call that day) will attend the delivery.

I am considering having a doula (labor assistant) present but I have much to learn about that as well. It was suggested to me by Jane Austin, a well respected yoga teacher and child birth educator as well as an ex-doula and ex-midwife, that I hire a doula (labor assistant) if I could not hire my number one preference: a home birth midwife. There has been research that shows having a doula present increases the chances of a healthy birth that has less complications and invasive techniques used like cesarean section, forceps delivery, or episiotomy.