MaternityShare

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

Something? Anything? Just so you can get somewhere … so you can at least find out what you don’t want to do. I know I want to make money to make life easier and to feel secure about things and not have to move back in with my mom. I just don’t know how to do that and keep Will by my side. Is there anyone who will hire me with a baby in tow? Will will not take a bottle anymore which makes things more challenging.

Well, I was working on the hair accessories thing again. I don’t have all the supplies I need to do what I was doing before. There is a lot of stuff I used for that. So I got a few supplies and tried a variation on what I was successful with before but this new variation I have found unsatisfactory. I feel stuck. I feel worried. I feel tired.

$ making ideas:
- Try hair accessories thing again, differently.
- Make baby hats (at least one for Will to keep his almost hairless noggin warm).
- Apply to a nanny company.
- Work somewhere on evenings and weekends when Billy can watch Will: Starbucks, property management company, teach dance class, catering gig.

I have a feeling that I just need to relax, take a step back and try again or try something different.

Mostly I need to trust.

I will survive… I will do more than that… I will live well. I will have plenty left over to give to others who need help. That would be satisfying.

Universe, I am your conduit.

Recently I have been searching for a pediatrician. I have to find one in San Francisco because that is my medical group’s service area. I will have to pay a toll, drive over the Bay Bridge and drive about 12 miles every time I will take the little one to the pediatrician (this is how it is now when I go to the OB/GYN now that we live in the East Bay). I don’t yet know how often the visits will be, but I have heard mention of the word “regular” in the early years. Oy vey!

We can’t switch medical groups at this point because I am too far along in my pregnancy. If we could switch, we could get a pediatrician closer to home but then we would be at a different hospital.

Challenges:

- finding time for both Billy and I to interview a doctor
- figuring out the questions to ask
- finding a doctor close to highway access
- knowing how to narrow down the search
- picking a young or older doctor
- understanding what is necessary medically and what could be done with a more natural approach… its easy enough to make these decisions for myself, but a brand new little person?
- trying not to worry that I feel pressure to get all this done yesterday so everything is prepared

Now… trying to relax, get this done, then move on to focusing on a positive rest of my pregnancy and birth experience. Oh yah, I also have to plan for a way to make money now that I no longer have a job.