MaternityShare

Man am I tired today. And I have a headache. I believe that I am not so desirable company today and my in-laws are in town. I want to be happy and entertaining but I can’t keep it up, my jolly attitude keeps derailing itself like a gutter-ball. I usually get in some morning nap time with Will to help refresh myself but I haven’t been able to lately. Add to that the fact that I keep going to bed late because I want to hang out with the grown ups and I can see why I feel so crummy. I think Will is going through a growth spurt as well so I imagine that that puts more demand on my body.

Will hasn’t been getting enough good sleep either, or rather it is taking him longer to get to it, the good sleep that is.

All this being said, it is great to have the in-laws here. Will gets to bond with them and they get to bond with Will. Good stuff. And they are real nice people to boot. So, really, I am lucky.

I am feeling grateful.

We have Billy’s parent’s visiting this weekend. It has been nice to see them get to bond some more with Will. Today, Billy’s mom did a bunch of housework for me today. I also worked even though she intended to give me a break from all that. I was just so excited to go with the momentum and get some stuff done around here. I did however take her advice and have a bath. I soaked in epsom salt and pretended I was in the natural hot springs of Breitenbush. I have been craving a Breitenbush soak for some time now.

This evening Billy and his dad were watching Comedy Central as well as Current TV in the living room (our loft is really just one big room with half wall dividers for the bedroom) they were having quite a nice time, laughing and talking. It was quite nice to hear these family sounds. The only problem was that it disrupted baby’s sleep. So I put on a heartbeat track and a womb track so that they would keep repeating on iTunes so baby would have some good white noise to soothe him. It seems to have done the trick. I feel soothed too.

When Will and I are out and about in the world we often get the question that starts with “aww”, then follows with “how old is he?” Today he is just over 8 weeks old. When I told that to the lady in line at Whole Foods she replied “you don’t see ones that young out much”. I have gotten comments similar to this now and then. When Will was about 6 weeks old one sagely woman at the Berkeley Cafe Gratitude told me that I should be with Will in the sanctuary of my home. I said back something like “really?” even though I agreed with her. I felt like I just wanted to be home and resting and recuperating and nurturing Will. Ideally I would have liked to have been nurtured too by my family and friends and she said as much. She said that traditionally women did not leave the home for 40 days after delivery. When I asked how these women did not get “cabin fever” she told me that the mother and babe were cared for by the family and that they were with her which allowed her not to feel the strain of being isolated.

Oh my. I loved what she said. I realized that my longing for a tribe (community) to be with me and love and care for me was not unfounded. Yes, I am a modern woman but I am also a human and I believe that humans have a natural instinct to live as this woman suggested caring for each other, protecting and celebrating their young, and each other.

I feel sad and like I am missing something by not having this rich tribe. My family and friends are scattered about the globe (mostly located in Portland). Also, it seems that in these modern times or, at least in this first world country that our ties with our family are not as strong as they would have been at a time in the past or in another culture.

I am thankful that my mom did come and stay for a week to be there for us. I am also thankful that Billy’s mom came to help and be with us too. Then, about a week and a half ago, my friend Rebecca called me up and asked if she could come by with some homemade soup! Of course! She and her boyfriend came by with not only soup but groceries from Whole Foods! Lots of organic, fresh goodies. She had been traveling to places such a Egypt so was unable to come sooner.

I want to reclaim some of those seemly less and less common values. Friends and family are a treasure to be tended to and like a garden, grow.

I love you my dear family and friends.

I am thinking about Mother’s Day and what to do for my mom and my mormor (mormor is Swedish for mother’s mother). I always do something for the both of them on Mother’s Day (most year I just make a homemade card for them. I know they prefer that and that they don’t want us kids to make a big fuss over them). There are a couple of books I want to get for them and luckily they would both be interested in these books pretty much as they have to do with knitting, crocheting, and craft home business. My mom has a nice demand for the beautiful things she makes like hats, scarves, purses, baby clothing and more. She is in the beginning stages of re-creating an image and a website for her business CozyHats as well as finding the boutiques in which she wants to sell her creations. I get lots of compliments when I wear her hats. I love to tell people that my mom made it for me… I am such a proud daughter!

This Mother’s Day I want to sweeten the deal for my mom because she has done an exceptional thing this year: SHE QUIT SMOKING! I am so happy and so proud of her! I know it has been a challenge for her but I always knew she was up for that challenge. She is a strong and powerful woman. The thing that really sealed the deal in her decision to quit smoking for good this time is that she has her first grandchild on the way! (That’s the little guy inside of me.) She is one proud grandma and she hasn’t even met the little fellah yet! It warms my heart and gives me much happiness at the way our whole family has responded with love and joy at this pregnancy.

So, the Mother’s Day deal sweetener I spoke of is an iPod Shuffle (with a inscription engraved on the back) that she can use on the stationary bike she got recently to help her manage her weight (and her health in general) as well as to use on her long walks that she has taken to doing. I wonder if she will like such a thing. I just sent her an email with a link to the iPod Shuffle page and asked her to pick a color. Let’s see what her response will be…

What are you doing for your mother this year?