Tag Archives: blogging

I have been thinking about you…

Posted on by
Reply

Dear Blog,

I have missed you so much. I think about you from time to time and have been meaning to write. I have had so many things to tell you.

I have found a whole host of excuses to not visit you and tell you what’s been on my mind. Being a mom seems to be my biggest excuse, along with being fearful of how you might judge me.

But not being with you makes me feel like something is missing. I like being with you (even when its hard). When I don’t let out the things I have on my mind and when I don’t express myself I feel like things bottle up and opportunities for learning more about you and about myself slip away.

Anyway, I’m here now. I love how you always welcome me back no matter how long I have been gone.

Thank you,

Christine

so much on my mind… here is a peak (on blogging):

Posted on by
Reply

It has been over two months since I have last blogged. I have twittered here and there and been active somewhat on Facebook. But here is the real meat. The longer deeper posting realm.

I keep struggling with what it means to blog, why do it and how much to reveal.

Writing is therapeutic and it records. I like that. But, I don’t want to write things that make me uncomfortable knowing that others may read this. I think that is the long and short of it.

The real (in a nutshell) problem seems to be my self confidence which is related to wondering “who am I really?” and the silly questions that I ask myself a lot like “why do I do what I do?”.

I find blogging to be not only therapeutic and a way to record events, thoughts, and such, but also a neat way to “be” in the world. The act of blogging is a path. It takes you somewhere just like anything else in life. You act and the world reacts to you. Even if no one reads this I still am having an experience outside of myself because am recording this and, it has the potential to be read.

One of my favorite bloggers is Heather Armstrong also known as “dooce”. She made #26 on a list of 30 of the most influential women in media by Forbes Magazine of which Oprah was #1. Heather’s blog is at dooce.com. Reading her experience of life and the way she chooses to share it is funny as well as inspiring. She has shared things that most people would not have. Most would be embarrassed, ashamed, or afraid of hurting others by sharing personal things about them. I think this is what makes her so compelling. She breaks taboos and, she has a funny writing style.

I might define dooce as “having or indicating such grossness of mind as precludes delicacy and discrimination” (this also happens to be the Merriam-Webster definition of “crass”)

Until my next post, join me in celebrating transparency by doing what you say and saying what you mean.

Forgive Me Blog For I Have Sinned

Posted on by
Reply

Dear Blog,

Please forgive me my sins. I have not blogged in eight days…
I have doubted my writing ability and the quality of my posts that I thought I might write about.
I have doubted that anyone cares or even reads this blog.
I have not reached out to the blogging community to foster dialogue and to see what else is going on out there.
I have held my baby or rested with my baby for far more than I used to.

Wait, that last one sounds like a good one.
I read that the more skin on skin contact you have with your baby the better weight gain they have and the more milk production you have. There are other benefits as well but they escape me at the moment. You can find out more at sites like Dr Sears I think it is a wonderful reason to spend more time with baby and to feel good about it. I have felt like I need to get things done when baby is sleeping but now I have upped the amount of time I hold my sleeping baby in my arms. It feels great.

When I hold baby I can do “one handed typing” but it is slow and frustrating. When I put baby down I tend to do things like make something to eat or laundry. Priorities.

Anyway, a lot has gone on since I last wrote. I foresee some of those topic as being my upcoming blog posts.

As for now, baby is stirring like he means to wake up. I hope you will forgive me as I take my leave.

I am here

Posted on by
Reply

I am here… but just barely.

I feel so out of touch, so sleep deprived. So much has happened in the last 2 and a half weeks since Will’s birth.

I was not warned about the things I am experiencing, or if I was, I could not have understood. One has to experience this to believe it.

I have been wanting to post but have not been able to bring myself to do so. My experiences have been intense and I am hesitant to write about them. Also, I’m just so tired and busy with the little one.

I just wanted to say I am here and I plan to post regularly now. So, I will see you here tomorrow with something new.

Take care and be well,

~Christine (eyelids closing almost before I can close the lid to my laptop)

oh music music music

Posted on by
Reply

A few months ago Billy told me about a new way to listen to music: The Hype Machine.

The Hype Machine follows music blog discussions.
Every day, thousands of people around the world write about music they love — and it all ends up here.

Its a way to listen to music you like or music you want to try out. It tracks blogs that link MP3 files and displays them in a variety of ways. Two of the ways you can find music is by going to a page where the “latest” links to music are shown, or you can go to the “popular” page. I found this site to be useful for sampling music by entering what I want to hear in the search box. It is especially useful when you are on someone else’s computer and need a music fix.

I have come across some things I might never have found otherwise by using The Hype Machine. I even started visiting the blogs that were being linked to Hype. One of my new favorites is Letters Have No Arms!. I first discovered this blog because Hype linked to some cool songs that they posted about like a few Cure covers and a Hot Chip cover. I was intrigued by the look and feel of this music blog in addition to their music choices so I spent a little time there and discovered more and more interesting stuff!

If you are in need of new music inspiration you have to explore The Hype Machine.

Stepping up to the challenge

Posted on by
Reply

I have been putting off writing today and here are some of the reasons why:

I have been feeling bit edgy, perhaps “stir crazy”. There is so much I want to do with my life, there are things that I have been wanting to do, and now that I have all this time on my hands I have come face-to-face with these desires. Due to bed rest, I can’t do anything about them now which is frustrating.

Actually, in truth, I can do something. I can prepare. I can read. I can research. I can write. I can brainstorm. I can finally work on meditation and learning more of what it is about so that I can practice my way into it. I even have a book on my shelf that would introduce me nicely. Then from there, there are options: I can get on amazon.com and find something more in depth. If I am feeling unsure of which book (or dvd) to pick, I can email or call one of my local yoga teachers and ask.

It is the things like dancing that are really frustrating me. Bed rest and dancing do not mix. I have decided to watch videos and read writings of dancers to learn from their experiences. I learn a lot just by watching so I have been watching clips on youtube. But all this observing is making me antsy. I find myself clenching my jaw or sympathetically moving my body like a snake being charmed by the snake charmer. Well, I can look at this “problem” as an opportunity to work on my relaxation skills, which is something I want to work on anyway.

And then there is crafting. I am itching to make stuff again. I used to create and sell silk flower adornments (among other things) and I’d like to start doing that again. This too will have to wait until after the baby is born. But when will I have time then? I will find a way (eventually).

Yesterday I began crying, sobbing actually. I was embarrassed because someone in our building might hear me. In trying to be an growing, pro-active person, I tried to assess why this was happening. But I couldn’t figure it out. It was as if a cleansing was taking place that allowed no room for assessment. Billy called me soon after the tears ended and he asked me why I was sad. When I talked about it to him I figured I was sad because I feel lonely. Not only do I feel lonely being pretty much secluded these days but also because I don’t really have much of a community here in the Bay Area. I have been somewhat hermit-like and my social skills have been wanting.

In thinking about it now, it seems as if I have been closed-off a bit to life… not living fully. Why? I have been wondering if it is because I have been wanting what others have (that means I am living outside of myself) instead of wanting things for myself and going out into the world and developing or getting those things (that would be living inside myself).

When I have these realizations, I try to use them for positive ends and not for wallowing in the negative. That’s hard, and is what I’ve done for too much of my life.

Anyway, this is part of what’s been going on for me. I am finding this time of my life to be very challenging. I also find it to be a gift.

I decided to post about this in my quest to be transparent, or, to be real. This is part of who I really am. Pleased to meet you.

raw food inspiration

Posted on by
2

Billy made me a salad for dinner tonight at my request. The ingredients were organic butter lettuce and carrot from our local farmers market as well as tomato, pine nuts topped with a light yet tasty dressing that he made up of (from what I can tell) olive oil, fresh lemon juice (organic/local) , and fresh ground black pepper.

He bought me the pine nuts because he noted that I was really into them on a dish we had ordered last week. Aww. I got to thinking about pine nuts and I was trying to remember if I had heard if it was not ok to eat them raw or not. I have eaten them raw before but, being the protective incubator of this baby, decided to search on google anyway. In my search, I came across this blog in which the guy was sharing his 30 day raw food adventure. This link was quite a bit off the topic I was researching but my interest in raw foods kept me reading. It was interesting to hear his tale and to learn more about what it is like to eat raw and how one could do it. I have only read his last 2 posts, which alas are the very end of his 30 days, as well one of his earlier posts when he was in the beginning stages of the diet. I intend to read his entire tale to inspire me and feed my curiosity about eating raw. He links to some tasty sounding recipes (like Creamy Avocado Gazpacho) that I want to try. I think he may feel similar to the way that I do in that eating raw is wonderful, but, its just not something I will do everyday.

Oh, and, as it turns out, it is safe to eat raw pine nuts.

bon appétit!