MaternityShare

Will just turned 2 and had a fabulous birthday that started with a road trip to Portland, Oregon to visit the grandparents. Every time we go to visit grandparents Will is on fire! He is so excited and stimulated and happy… and exhausted… because its a lot of work to be all those things all the time for a whole week.

We had a little family party for him at my brother’s new house a few weeks before his actual birthday. The family wanted to celebrate him since they are unable to come to the SF Bay Area to celebrate his birthdays. Everyone was late, dinner took a while to get on the table, and Will was dead tired for most of the festivities. It was sad, but what are you going to do? Got to make the best of it. And we did. All in all, it was a nice little party. Will began perfecting his singing of Happy Birthday To You. So sweet.

We had a little Skype session with the San Diego grandparents and the Portland grandparents on his actual bday: July 14th. We lit a tea light (which he blew out with ease), sang, and had a single slice of cheesecake which we did not finish between the 3 of us. Will was tired again, though it was much earlier in the evening.

The following Saturday was his big event birthday party. His San Diego grandparents flew up for the weekend and Will was ecstatic! He had near nonexistence of naps and lot and lots of excited play time. He went to bed too late, as usual, and woke at the same time: EARLY! We had a great weekend though. The party at Crab Cove in Alameda. It was a nice setting and the company was wonderful. Will had talked daily about how our dear friend Tillie was going to make his birthday cake and how he had a candle for her to put on top: Tillie’s going to make my birthday cake… I have a candle for Tillie”. This cake was truly special. She picked black berries to put in the cake the day of the party! And, get this, she iced it in the car on the way to the party! It was beautiful and delicious! We had a little taqueria make taco fixings and chip and dips for us.

Will and the other children were too engrossed in their play to open presents so we took them home and opened them over the next 4 days to spread them out. I still can’t decide if that was a good idea. Later in the day, after the last one was opened, he said he was going to open his present. I reminded him that he had already opened his last one. He was fine with it. If I had to do it over again, I think would have him open them at the party in front of everyone earlier on in the party, right after cake. On second thought, that could be stimulation overload for a 2 year old. Hm… Maybe at 3 he could handle that. What do other people do that works well?

Some people say that at 1 and 2 years old they are too little to have a birthday party. But I believe it is an important ritual or right of passage that goes beyond the birthday person. In the first few year of life I see birthdays of more of a bonding experience for everyone who attends. Then as children get older and be begin to understand what it means to celebrate a birthday it can become a time of reflection as well as a time to celebrate that we are alive and the people in our lives. I like to think of it like that… otherwise it just becomes an empty or meaningless explosion of energy, effort and resources. Or, something we just do or are expected to do. That’s not only dumb, but a waste.

I didn’t have a birthday celebration this year and I felt loss because of it. I realize that I need to take charge of my birthday ritual and not expect anyone else to make it happen like I usually do. Even if its as simple as going to the beach, sitting on the sand, looking at the water and reflecting on what the past year held for me and what my goals are for the upcoming year.

Also, I like to celebrate my family and friends on birthdays. They are the people who help shape my life.

It takes a lot of energy to throw a party where a lot of people are in attendance but I think it is worth it for certain markers in life. But, after reflecting on Will’s party, and the nonexistence of a party for me, I am really aware of the fact that I would rather have lots of little gatherings to spend time with people who I love.

Today Will is 2 months old (8 weeks). He is getting heavy! Last time I weighed him (last Friday) he was about 10 lbs. He has gained 2 lbs since his August 15th Pediatrician visit. I am told that is excellent weight gain. I have had to alter the way I pick him up and how I hold him because my right wrist and hand have burned out. I was instructed by a cranio-sacral therapist to lift his head with my right hand then slide my left forearm under his neck. To support his lower half I slide my right forearm under his bum then lift with both arms. This helps me be ergonmic about it all and is supposedly supposed to be nice for his spine. If it is in need of a “release” it would do so when I pick him up like that. This method has been helping me. I started up with the yoga again to help matters. I haven’t been active enough so my body is suffering in more ways then one.

I thought I saw Will smile the other day but I wasn’t absolutely sure and, they say, “you will know”. Hmm. I don’t know. He is due to begin smiling any day now. But because he was born a bit on the early side he could be a bit “behind” on hitting milestones.

I felt a few weeks ago that the bonding between me and Will was really solidifying but now I feel it on another level. It is hard to explain and really cool. I feel as if we are dancing together and figuring out each other’s rhythm.

His head is getting so big. His neck muscles are developing and he his bobbing his head around quite a lot these days. But he still needs to develop the fine tuned control of his head so Billy and I have to watch out not to get headbutted by the little guy as well as ensuring his cranial safety.

His coos are adorable. I LOVE the cooing. I mimic him because 1) I think it is sweet and fun and 2) I read that this amuses them and that they like hearing it and it will encourage them to do it even more.

Our little son is adorable and we are totally in love with him. 2 months, wow.

2 months of so little sleep. 2 months of so much joy. I tell him often that he is splendid, fabulous, wonderful, and adorable.

Happy 2 months, Will. I love you.

While we stayed at the hospital, we were scheduled to meet with various specialists. First it was the ultrasound technician who checked thoroughly on our little one while we watched and marveled. Turns out he was, at the time of the ultrasound, 1 lb., 15 oz. Wow, that is tiny. She also found that my cervix was shortened to 2.1 cm. which is cutting it close. But, we got a healthy report on the baby.

Then I had a visit from the physical therapist who taught me some exercises that I should do in my bed. They are super simple but, they are better than nothing. My whole being is craving yoga and dance. The plan was for me to be strong and supple to guide this baby out of my body and deal with the labor with ease and as naturally as possible. I wonder how being on bed rest for some time before I deliver will affect the deliver process.

A neonatal specialist came to see us next, she described how they would care for the baby if he was born pre-term and many of the things that can go wrong, the risks and statistics, and the technology and experience they have to deal with it. I liked her, she was smart, confident, caring. Even though the information was hard to hear and think about (both emotionally and the fact that I was doped up), she made me feel a ease somehow.

There were two other specialists who deliver babies gave us information on what to expect and what services they provided. Luckily Billy was there because I was not able to take all they had to say in. So much information, so little clear thinking available at the time.

Now I am adjusting to my temporary life on bed rest (which will very well last until I deliver). Such an interesting turn of events, I tell you! The baby’s health is a powerful motivator. He is way too young to leave his womb-y nest, so, I told the little fellah he is not to come out yet. In fact I have believe I have inspired him to stay inside his until week 40! At this point, the doctors just want me to get to week 29 where his chances and lung development will be much better. I actually was given 2 injections of steroids to boost his lung development “just in case”. I don’t feel good about the drugs that have been put in my body, but if they give the baby the best possible chance at a healthy life because he was able to stay inside of me, his natural incubator, then I accept them.

Not only am I going to miss the sweet baby shower that friends in Portland had planned for me this weekend, I will also miss celebrating my birthday and Mother’s Day with my family on the 11th, but here’s the hardest one of all… and this one can only ever happen once: I am going to miss Lenny (my youngest brother) and Haley’s (his fiancée) wedding in mid-July. But, I believe that a fair trade off will be that I am able to present them with a healthy nephew to make up for it!