MaternityShare

Billy set up his keyboard today so that Will could play with it. Will loves all the levers, dials, knobs and, buttons.

When we went to Portland earlier this month Will was in love with my mom’s piano. Oh my did he play and play and play. Billy would sit him on the bench and watch and sometimes play with Will. Will played with a art that probably only a mother could love. To my ears he was composing. And, this made my mom decide to keep the piano when she was about to sell it.

Well, this was what inspired Billy bring out the keyboard now, when Will is only 13 months old. Rock on Will.

I was just glancing through my enormous iPhoto collection and saw this pic. This is how I currently feel even though this picture was taken almost one year ago on September 5th, 2008 when Will was less than 2 months old. I think I look tired but happy and in love with my baby. Will looks so peaceful and content and happy. I have certainly had my ups and downs since Will was born and I am still having them but, I work to keep them separate from the experience I have with Will. I hate when I get so stressed out about what I “should” be doing or figuring out how the hell I am going to make money so we can have our needs and wants met. I get so stressed out about the pressures of life that I do find myself neglecting things that I value highly like my health and happiness as well as treasuring every moment with Will and playing with him.

What the hell can I do about taking care of our monetary needs and our family needs?

My mind feels pretty cluttered, my body is tight, and I am wound up as well as exhausted.

Given all the stresses I feel in my life and see in others around me I am baffled at how any of these things can even matter when we I have clean water, a roof, food, clothing, and personal safety when most of the world does not have all of these things.

Perspective. I will take a dose of that to cure me from the stress and guilt I feel pulling me down when I want to be rising up.

I appreciate my life and the gifts afforded to me. Now, I would appreciate if I would move my ass forward and do good for me, my family, and the world.

Will turned one on July 14th. In my prior post you can see a pic of him getting his bday present from mom and dad when he woke up.

We had a picnic BBQ with a lovely group of friends. (Side note: I used punchbowl.com for the invite and later found a function that shows you who look at their invite. Looks like a lot of folks had our invite go into their spam folder. Grrr.)

Our friend Art (Uncle Art) took photos. I have yet to look at mine (oops, bad mom) so, in the meantime, please enjoy Art’s photos of Will’s bday party!

We celebrated at the Emeryville Marina. We had quite a nice time!

We gave Will a walker truck for his first birthday. It took about 3 1/2 weeks for him to use it as a walker. Prior to that he was merely using it as a place to store toys (I put it in the truck, I take it out of the truck).

He is a trucking fool now! I guess he is taking after uncle Conny who drives truck for a living.
Will gets frustrated when he runs in to walls and other things. When he hits the walls he slaps his hand repeatedly on them and gives them a stern talking to.

This is Will waking up to his birthday present on July 14th:

Here are a few pictures from today’s travels:

It has been over two months since I have last blogged. I have twittered here and there and been active somewhat on Facebook. But here is the real meat. The longer deeper posting realm.

I keep struggling with what it means to blog, why do it and how much to reveal.

Writing is therapeutic and it records. I like that. But, I don’t want to write things that make me uncomfortable knowing that others may read this. I think that is the long and short of it.

The real (in a nutshell) problem seems to be my self confidence which is related to wondering “who am I really?” and the silly questions that I ask myself a lot like “why do I do what I do?”.

I find blogging to be not only therapeutic and a way to record events, thoughts, and such, but also a neat way to “be” in the world. The act of blogging is a path. It takes you somewhere just like anything else in life. You act and the world reacts to you. Even if no one reads this I still am having an experience outside of myself because am recording this and, it has the potential to be read.

One of my favorite bloggers is Heather Armstrong also known as “dooce”. She made #26 on a list of 30 of the most influential women in media by Forbes Magazine of which Oprah was #1. Heather’s blog is at dooce.com. Reading her experience of life and the way she chooses to share it is funny as well as inspiring. She has shared things that most people would not have. Most would be embarrassed, ashamed, or afraid of hurting others by sharing personal things about them. I think this is what makes her so compelling. She breaks taboos and, she has a funny writing style.

I might define dooce as “having or indicating such grossness of mind as precludes delicacy and discrimination” (this also happens to be the Merriam-Webster definition of “crass”)

Until my next post, join me in celebrating transparency by doing what you say and saying what you mean.

Will is making new sounds all the time but lately there have been a lot more of them with less space between. He is turning into a real boy. What a kid. I love this guys so much even though taking care of him means its hard for me to work and make money. I have been working for a local kombucha company now for about 2 months and have not made a dime. It is kombucha on tap via consignment. The first kegs are given away free. Am I insane? No, I know things will work out. I just have to keep refining my process and try and coax Will into a nap schedule and, a routine in general. I think we will both be saner for it.

Know any restaurants or stores who would like to sell kombucha?
If you do let me know, if you don’t, that’s ok. If you don’t know what kombucha is look here. I have samples to share as well so, hit me up. Or, go to one of these places.

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Julia opened her house for peeps to gather to say hi to me and Will on Thursday, May 14th, Will’s 10 month birthday. After everyone had left, except Jenny, Julia popped on her music set for the following night and started getting her groove on. Will started rocking out with her in his little head banging arm swinging way. Then, wham! The two of them joined forces and danced their hearts out. It was beautiful. Here is a pic. Video to follow… you wont want to miss that! Will squeals and laughs in delight!

We love you auntie Julia!

It is official: Will waves and says “hi”… well, more like “heah”.

I read about a week ago on the website “What To Expect” that if you teach your baby to wave and say “hi” at about nine months that they will learn to do it. So I began waving and saying hi to him now and again and he picked it right up. At first it was subtle and not unlike him dancing (because he waves his hand in a cute little way when he dances). His new talent is the strongest when I am holding him and we are both looking in the mirror.

Darn, babies are cute!