Preschooler Calls Out Mama: “Take Five”

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This morning, while getting our shoes on to go out the door to school, Will was asking his usual stream of questions and moving at a leisurely speed. Being late already, I could keep my cool no longer and let out a pained breath. Will immediatly asked me “why did you do that”
I told him “I’m stressed out”
Will declared matter of factly “take five.”
I asked “who taught you about that?” (I actually was not sure why he had said that… I had never heard him say that before.)
He said “I did.” Then he further explained “you need to take five deep breaths because you are really stressed out.”

Oh dear.

Well at least we are having a healthy conversation even if its about mama’s unhealthy lifestyle.

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(Upon further reflection, I remembered that I have told him before that we need to take a deep breath if we are scared or stressed. Taking more is better… this must be where he came up with this. I appreciate how he was able to adapt it so smoothly to this situation.)

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RESOURCES  – Quick & Easy :

Stress Management: Breathing Exercises for Relaxation

Stress Relief Secret #1: Stop and Breathe

Breath Stress Relief Technique: Free, short instructional video from Yoga Today

Preschooler Disarms “Mama Mean Face”

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As I was hurrying Will, my 3 year old son, to get his shoes on so that we could leave for school he asked me:

“Mama, why do you have that face?”

Disarmed, I asked “What does it look like?

“A mean one” he replied.

Gulp. I took a breath to help ease the lump I felt both in my belly and in my throat. My sweet man was doing just what I have been encouraging him to do: communicate by using his words. Instead of acting like a crazy little man (by hitting or kicking or making spit spray out of his mouth with airborne raspberries, or, saying the word Stupid just to “get my goats”) he asked me a fair question.

I apologized and I told him that I was feeling frustrated and tired. I think I then switched to talking about pleasanter things and rearranging my face to reflect that of loving (if still damn tired) mama.

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I have been wanting to write about some of the things I have been experienceing about parent-hood as well as what my preschooler has been experiencing but I have been too damn tired, frustrated and, hesitant to share those things.

I have things I want to share, things I want to ask, and things I want to dialogue about.

Don’t most parents head to the internet to ask questions or to learn more about a subject. Don’t we want to hear about what other parents are experiencing and what they have tried and discovered?

I am finding that I am becoming a child advocate and a spring of knowledge not only about children, parenthood, schools but also about improving oneself and about social good. It has taken me a load of time that I “should” have been spending doing other things – things like getting a job or cleaning my house.

To be continued…

Potty Training Success: Tools

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Will just started a new school this week where their policy is that if they are partially potty trained that the teachers are not able to aide them. Will can do it all… all except we are fine-tuning the wipe.

Most people feel more comfortable making a bowel movement at home – so does Will. But there is the occasion where one has to poop in unfamiliar territory. So, I have been talking to him about the potties they have there and how it would all go down were he to have to do the deed there. He is used to sitting on an IKEA potty where there is no room to reach behind and wipe while sitting down.

It was just easiest to have him do downward dog and I would do the wiping. But, since he is a Big Boy and all we have been encouraging him to wipe – especially knowing that if he poops at school he will be getting no help.

So, I have been thinking about what would be the best solution and I settled upon Scott Naturals Flushable Ready Wipes. (These were the closest thing I found at the store to natural and sustainable.) I see these from time-to-time in other peoples homes and figured we ought to give it a try.

We have only had one try with them so far but it was a success. The next step is getting resourceful with them so he will only use the 1-2 wipes per flush recommended on the box.

Next problem to solve: where will we put these at school so that he can get to them without them being used up by everyone else. I don’t mind sharing some here and there but there are a lot of kids who mind find these handy. I suppose we could all go in on them together.

Thoughts?

Children and Media: Television Shows & the “Crash Media Diet”

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“Can I watch a show?”

My son asks me this many times a day, or he did, until I put him on a “crash media diet”.

My husband started him on the iPad and iPhone as soon as Will was able to focus attention on it. He got him all kinds of cool apps. Will became proficeint at the iPad before I did. He was about 2 years old when he was able to navigate it like a pro.

In addition to apps, we sprinkled in some shows on YouTube or Netflix. It all started so that I could get him to eat, or eat faster. It took FOREVER for Will to finish a meal. I found that if I popped on Sesame Street or Signing Time with Alex and Leah I could shovel the food in more quickly and more easily. But I felt guilty.

I began doing it on the sly so my husband wouldn’t know. This is because I am “anti-TV” and I wanted to wait until Will was 2 to expose him to (very limited) media. I knew if Billy got wind of the fact I was letting Will watch shows that he would take that as a green light to turn the BOOB TUBE on for Will whenever.

I’m not much of a liar so, I let the cat out of the bag and since then Will began watching far too many shows. And boy was it convenient. I suddenly had time to put the dishes in the dishwasher or get in some Facebook, Twitter and email time. Now and again I would right myself and distract him with more “real-world” activities. But, I would inevitably slip back into the media mommy.

Recently we moved (AGAIN!) and we found shows and movies to help ease the strain on everyone as well as allow us to get all the work done that is involved in searching for a new place and packing and unpacking the home. Will would sometimes have a session of 2 hours with the iPad doling out Thomas and Friends, Calliou, and Roary the Racing Car, with a some doses of Bob the Builder.

He became demanding about his shows and extremely resistant to stop watching. And, we noticed that he started acting out the grumpy or mean characters. He became more aggressive.

Side note: He had three school-mates who were aggressive and older than him that were also affecting him. When he began attending the school with these children is when I started noticing a drastic change. … The shows just seemed to augment the school situation. The shows and movies gave him lots of fantasy material to re-enact. Could this have been in-part a way to cope with the meanies at school?

A few weeks ago I took a stance: no more shows! Ok… shows only once a week. And, those shows must not possess an overtly mean character. I would rather he spend his media consumption on positive and educational influences.

NEXT UP: The outcome of this Will’s MEDIA DIET.

Get Happy, Mama

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Mama, you are not taking care of yourself. I can tell by looking at your hair, your skin, your slumped shoulders.

Mama, go for a walk.

You need to take care of your family instead? Haven’t you heard? People keep saying it (I feel like a broken record here):

If mama ain’t  happy, nobody’s happy.

Get happy.

Stuck in your head? Go for a walk.

Feeling drained? Go for a walk.

Feeling flabby and out of shape? Go for a walk.

Back hurts? Go for a walk.

Don’t know what you need? Go for a walk!

Or do yoga. Just do something and, do it regularly. Start with 10 minutes if that’s all you’ve got. I CHALLENGE  you to not feel a difference.

Stop making excuses. Or, just let those excuses power you out the door. Use them as fuel to go on your walk.

Have to take care of baby? Bring them with you, put them in the stroller and walk at a nice pace.  But, try and get papa or a girlfriend to hang out with Jr. and take some “you” time. Just do what ever it takes to go on ONE walk.

Enjoy!

Ps. Going on a walk will release endorphins into your bloodstream. Know what those do? THEY MAKE MAMA HAPPY!

Fear & Curiosity

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Will and I went to the library today. While there we came across the graphic novels. He pulled out a Wolverine book with a menacing pic on the front and refused to put it back until he was done. I talked him through it by answering questions like “is he a bad guy?” and “what’s he doing?” I reminded him none of it was real and I offered to read him a graphic novel with an age appropriate story. But, Will was engrossed. He has had scary things on his mind lately and, he won’t let me leave his line of sight. I hear this question several times a day: “is something scary going to come?”

I am trying out different ways to help him through this fearful and curious time. I’m not sure I did the right thing but I remembered children crave to explore their world. In fact, many say that that is their job. So, I let him explore. He seemed to be in a state of “flow”.

I will watch and see bow today’s exploration affects Will and keep fine tuning this challenge.

4HB: Quickie Yummy Lunch – Protein Style

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This afternoon I needed a fast, protein-rich lunch. So I threw these quick and easy to eat wraps together in about one minute:

Ingredients:

Turkey
Tomato
Lettuce

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Meal details:

The turkey and tomatoes are from TJ’s. The lettuce you can get from TJ’s but I prefer to get ultra fresh lettuce from the farmers market or a natural grocery.

Pick your favorites and wrap them up for “here” or “to-go”.

Add seasoning, herbs, or other veggies on-hand for variety. If your feeling spunky, add salad dressing or sour-kraut.

Bon appetite!

Note:
This meal is perfect for those on the Four Hour Body diet (4HB).