Monthly Archives: February 2012

Noisy Neighbors

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This morning, at 6:53 AM, I received a text from an unknown number:

Good morning to you too. Who needs an alarm when you kid is like clock work. 7am. Everyday.

I assumed it was mistakenly sent to me. Someone must of been replying to a friend making a loving joke about the joys of parenthood. Right? I replied with a question mark.

?

No.
It was my downstairs neighbor, so said the relpy:

Sorry, this is your downstairs neighbor, Rick.

I had given Rick my phone number the last time he came upstairs to let me know my son’s noises were annoying him (Will was playing xbox at the time). I wanted him to be able to text me to let me know if it was too much to take. For my part, I am working with Will to bring about a true understanding about how his actions effect neighbors and how he can do them differently. I actually try to make them fun like “walk like Spiderman.”

But, nothing seems to stick. He tries to be quiet but then he forgets when he is following his natural urge to learn and explore the world around him. I totally understand this – its ingrained in the human child to do this – but, I believe that there must be a way to develop a routine that builds in an awareness of how we act.

I felt I ought to reply to Rick. I wanted to acknowledge him, give him a quick status update to show progress and intent (I also hoping to inspire compassion), and to add a note of positivity. So I texted back this:

Ah. Goodmorning, Andre. I stress about this constantly and am working to ease the noise. I hope you have a good day.

SOLUTIONS TO TRY OUT:

  • Before 8am we walk with extra soft foot steps. — BUT HOW? Words alone have not had much effect. So, this morning I introduced a visual que to indicate times of extreem quite as well as one for times of “normal inside noises”. This still needs work. I could use some inspiration here! What has worked for other families?
  • Streamline the morning: get as much of the morning routine prepared the night before so we have less to do. This way I can either get him out of the house sooner to play or, I can give him undivided attention to focus on play as well as guiding him into a routine of BEING EXTREMELY QUIET (we will see to what extent this is possible… again, he’s 3).
  • Move. – Unfortunately, we can’t take this easy way out anytime soon.
Even before I got Rick’s texts this morning I was feeling stressed about Will’s inability to remember to be quiet as well as his other antics that kept me from getting us ready in a timely manner. So, when I realized that this text was addressed to us, I was pissed. Here Will was being a handful, and there my neighbor was plying his poisonous wrath on us again.
Have a heart, guy. Children are a challenge. And a gift.

Will is pretty great, and, I’m trying. I would appreciate it if you would have compassion and give me constructive feedback so I can do the best I possibly can without you being pissed at me and me being pissed at you. I was so frustrated that I took it out on Will. That only made matters worse.

I love Will so much and am working to raise him as best I can with tools like Positive Discipline and Montessori and with the following in mind: social good, compassion, empathy, altruism (just to name a few). The way I felt today was just horrible. And, its not just this, I am feeling challenged in other areas of my life too. Sometimes I wish for more of the ignorance I sometimes see in other people. It seems it would be less painful.

But, I know it wouldn’t. That would just be another kind of pain.

So, as I lean into “the ring of fire” (borrowing a term from life coach Martha Beck), I try to learn from it. I am ever on the path to being a better person, a better parent and being a force for social good.

—
Note:
I have used a different name for my downstairs neighbor out of respect for him. I’ll just call him Rick.

Lost Wallet – How to Protect Yourself

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I lost my wallet.

Now, I am learning all the intricacies of keeping my assets and identity safe. I am passing this along this crucial information so that you can too.

I thought I had it all covered but, when I googled what I thought was last on my list: “how do I report a stolen wallet?” (to hopefully find an easy way to do it online) I discovered a site created by the FTC that had a checklist of the things you need to do to “keep it safe”. Here are their steps to take to cover your heiny.

 

lost/stolen wallet or purse

A lost or stolen wallet or purse is a gold mine of information to identity thieves.
If your wallet or purse is missing:

  • File a report with the police immediately and keep a copy.
  • Cancel your credit, debit and ATM cards immediately.
  • Get *new* cards with *new* account numbers.
  • Call the fraud departments of the major credit reporting agencies.
  • Ask each agency to put out a fraud alert on your accounts.
  • Report the loss to the fraud department at your bank.
  • Review your credit reports regularly and have them corrected when necessary.
  • Report a missing driver’s license to your state’s department of motor vehicles.
  • If your keys are missing change the locks on your home and car.

GOOD LUCK!

~~~

Extra Reading to take care of yourself after your wallet goes AWOL:

Credit Reporting Agencies

Identity Theft

  • www.consumer.gov/idtheft
    1-877-ID-THEFT (1-877-438-4338)

    The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) is the federal clearinghouse for complaints by victims of identity theft. Although the FTC does not have the authority to bring criminal cases, the FTC assists victims of identity theft by providing them with information to help them resolve the financial and other problems that can result from identity theft.

The Cure for the Common Cold & Flu

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It seems like there is a never-ending cycle of runny noses at Will’s new school. Its unlike any of the other 3 schools he has attended. The viscous flow of thick snot, a permanent adornment to the same few kids that reaches out to the others in varying degrees. This winter, as soon as Will is done with one cold, he began another. Just before we left for a 3 week adventure in the Philippines, I took Will in for a check up. This last round of colds overlapped each other. Before that he had had at least a few days symptom free. His pediatrician reminds me how these frequent colds will give him an strong adult immune system. And, the fact that I keep catching his colds is all part of the package of childrearing. This made me feel better, intellectually.

So, off we went to the Philippines and Will’s sinuses cleared. (He did have a few “upsets”, but those were travel related.) Then back in The States, with less than half a week back at school, Will landed another round of the runny nose, cough variety of colds. Lucky me, I caught it again as well. (I wonder if this strengthens my immune system too? But already being an adult, I suspect it more informs me that I need to be taking better of myself day-to-day. i.e. stress less, eat better, exercise, etc.)

This time around, being fed up, I am using an herbal arsenal. Alopathic medicine can do nothing for us, but I know that natural medicine can. So I rummaged around my vitamin/medicine cupboard and found a bottle of Zong Gan Ling Chinese Herbs for Flu & Cold. I haven’t used that stuff since before I was pregnant with Will. Now that we are all done with breastfeeding I can safely bring it out again. I began my dosing last night. I am happy to report that I feel improved. I am taking the lowest dose possible because I am at less than half a small bottle.

Description: For Symptomatic Relief of Cold or Flu. Used for symptomatic relief of severe or advanced head cold or flu. With symptoms such as headache, sore throat, nasal congestion, body aches, fever and chills. Clears heat, drains dampness, eliminates cold, releases muscles, relieves pain.

The above formula is for when the cold has definitely taken its hold. There is another version called Dr. Shen’s Yin Chiao Cold Stop that one can take if you are feeling the first twinges of an oncoming cold that could K.O. that sucker before it can sink its nasty claws into you through and through. I know that’s a ballsy claim, but, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Get a load of the description:

Description of “Cold Stop”:  The actual, long sought cure for the common cold, a hundred percent herbal, a hundred percent safe, one of nature”s great gifts to humanity, already in use for hundreds of years, and the Western world is just catching on.

Shazam!
I’ve had it work for me. The only thing you have to do is take it. That’s it. Otherwise, it won’t work. Now, this time around it didn’t work for me because I forgot about it. That’s why I am  using “the red bottle”. Oh, and hey, doubters, you can read reviews on line and see that there are plenty who have had the same success as me.

And, drink plenty of fluids, get some rest, and eat some decent food. That’s important too. Try and fit in a comedy or two and your golden!

~~~
Next on my agenda: What herbals can and will I give to Will?

Will’s Words: On Horticulture & Disney Tunes

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Preface:
I have been thinking about starting a segment chonicleing my adventures with my (now age 3 1/2) son Will. Well, here it begins…

The first thing out of Will’s mouth today when he awoke was “I think perhaps the plant in my room needs some water”.

He is right! I reminded him a couple of days ago that his plant, that he lovingly named “Paxgigt” needed to be watered. The dreamworld must have sent him a reminder. Only, its now the evening and Paxgigt, the air-plant, has still not received its bath!

Later in the day, as we were loading in the car after a trip to the grocery store, I sang “Never Smile At A Crocodile”. He asked me if I could pretend to be a crocodile. When I answered “yes”, he began his silly little grin with a menacing twist. – 3 year olds. – Then, after we were all loaded in the car he asked me if he could wear his gloves (he loves to wear those things both for play and for comfort). I told him that I last saw him with them in his room. He began singing his answer back to me about how he had done this and that and where the gloves were located all to the tune of “Never Smile At A Crocodile”.

Cool.