So, now that I’m back, where were we?

I was looking for childcare…

I tried out a nanny share for Will that included one of his friends that he has known since he was about 3 weeks old as well as a happy nine month old little girl. The short story: that didn’t work out. Will wasn’t happy.

Today he is trying out a new place in Alameda that is a family based day care. He is the youngest at 23.5 months old. He seems to like the space and the main caregiver. He is there right now and I am down the street at a Peet’s Coffee having an Earl Grey with Lavender tea listening to soothing classical music and using the power of positivity to believe that he is having a good time.

Before I left the caregivers husband showed me where to put Will’s things and told me to make my separation quick otherwise kids tend to play on parental emotions and the longer you stay the more they manipulate and play a little game with you to get you to stay longer and longer, etc etc.

Will said “mama?” from the playroom but didn’t come to get a visual of me so I said “I’m putting away your stuff, sweetie”. He continued to play. So, put on my shoes and went quietly out the door.

When I left he was talking happily about what he was doing and checking out a toy school bus. I watched him throught the gauzy curtains for a half a minute, careful not to let him see me then I hurried off with a beach towel held up in front of my head so he might not see me.

I went for a walk around the neighborhood to let out the tension and anxiety I was having. On top of it all I am PMSing and, I agreed to take care of a friend’s child right after I pick up Will. A lot is on my plate, but, I can handle it – so, I’m handling it.