MaternityShare

Mormor Memorial October 30, 2008

Last weekend Billy, Will and I went to Portland to honor mormor (meaning “mother’s mother in Swedish). She passed away on her birthday this last September 29th at the age of 84. She had traveled to South Dakota from Portland, Oregon just ten days earlier for my oldest brother’s wedding. She arrived around 11pm on September 19th (my youngest brother’s birthday and one day before the wedding she had come to see), she made the rounds and said hello to everyone then went back to her hotel room to get ready for bed then 20 minutes later had a stroke. She was attended by the innkeeper who used to be an EMT until the ambulance came and was then rushed to the hospital three blocks away. This was a small town where everyone seemed to know each other: Wellington Spring, South Dakota.

I was asleep with my little family in my hotel room trying to catch up on some sleep. Being a new mom, my family did not wake me when they got in to town so I did not get to see mormor before the stroke. I was waken from my deep slumber by my third brother. He came to let me know what had happened. The knocking was loud and unexpected, it scared us in our little room. Startled and scared I came to the door to see it was merely my brother then I got hit with something even more starling and scary. Mormor was being taken to the hospital.

WHY DID I ASK TO BE LEFT TO SLEEP!? If I hadn’t planned on catching up on sleep I could have seen mormor one last time.

This was going to be the first time mormor had met Will. And I had not seen mormor since last Christmas. Oh mormor. I love you so much. I miss you so much. I know I can’t hang on to this regret of not seeing her this last time and of her not meeting her first grandchild of her youngest daughter’s family.

Well, I did get to see her as she was being wheeled to the ambulance as well as in the hospital a few times. I even got to say “goodbye”. We all got to before we left to go home. It was hard to do because she was still alive. I did it anyway but I used positive language and tone of voice.

Wow. This post is a bit hard to write.
And now, baby is here after his bath with dad and need to be fed. I’m going to go feed him now and hope to write more on this later but I know if I don’t post this now it may get stuck in my “saved drafts” pile.

good night, and be well.