I saw a link to this offering for a free Obama button (no strings attached) on my friend DeAnne”s Facebook page. The buttons are actually pretty cool looking. Also, I feel like I am ready to wear on my sleeve who I am supporting in the presidential election because I DO want change. I believe in Obama.
I started reading a blog called “Dooce” which is written by a woman who is a wife and mother who got a degree in English used to be a web designer but got fired for writing about her co-workers in her blog. Her situation was covered by the news media which heped propel her to fame. She now makes enough money off of her blog that her husband could quit his job and helps her run the back end.
BlogHer describes Heather’s voice as “snarky”. I am enterained by her stories about her and her husband, daughter, two dos and a fish. You have to read her truely appreciate what I mean. Its not for the faint of heart though. You have been warned.
While you are there check out her “Daily Style” picts and posts. Great photos and blurbs. Heather, you are my new hero :}
Her “about” page sums it up.
Today Will and I went to meet the moms (this is what I call my new group of mom friends that I have been slowly collecting) on College Ave at Ashby in Berkeley at Roma Cafe for some mommy bonding time. Will got hungry so we fed in the cafe. The other moms fed their wee ones too. Amy, one of my mom friends, noticed that the men that worked at the cafe (counter service) seemed uncomfortable with us weilding our breasts and feeding our babes. I usually worry about this kind of thing but today I didn’t and I felt good about that.
On the way out the door I tried to make eye contact with one of the men and give a sincere thank you. You know, thank you for your hospitality sort of thing. But he broke eye contact before I could move my lips. Oh well.
I got us all packed up in the car and was ready to take us to Trader Joes to do a quick shopping trip. We took off and made it 2 blocks before I gave in to his cries and pulled over to make sure all was well with Will. Just sometimes you have a feeling about these things. I wasn’t in a hurry after all and, I am his mom, his caretaker. Newborns ask for only what they need. So, I pulled over to see what he needed and I could tell that feeding was the first thing to try. Yes, he was hungry. I checked his diaper while I fed him. Only pee. I decided to wait to change him. While we fed I took in the scenery. I had parked in front of the Berekely Claremont Library. Nice building. Beautiful street. Wonderful neighborhood.
Done with the feeding we proceeded down College Ave so I could see what else there was on the street. Lots of interesting places, that’s what. On my way to TJs in Emeryville we came upon the Oakland Tjs just passed the Berkeley Border. Ok. Let’s go there. So (after a side trip to the natural pharmacy next door to TJs) we did our grocery shopping. Will got hungry AGAIN. This time he cried even more loudly that it made me think something was hurting him. I pulled him out of the buggy. He was rooting. Hungry baby. Mama feed.
I pulled out his little blankie, threw it over my shoulder and pulled out my breast. Lets feed. So what if we are at TJs. My baby is hungry. So I walked around, pushing his stroller with one hand while holding baby in my other all the while feeding and shopping (and trying to make sure my boob didn’t pop out and frighten anyone). Oh Will, you little feeder. You just fed and fed away. This made my shopping go slower. I had misplaced my short list and had a hard time recalling what was on it. I already have “mommy brain” but add to that the distraction of trying to navigate foreign waters while feeding the little man, and oh my I am surprised that I remembered 4 out of 5 items. I did come away with some things that were not on the list as well.
Well, this concludes my reporting of today’s adventures. My brain has gone to bed so my fingers must follow.
I did it again, I spent the evening doing chores as well as making dinner and pumping instead of catching a nap like I wished to do. I want to make sure the house doesn’t get too behind in cleanliness. I keep doing this even though other moms keep telling me that as a new mom I should let things slide. I wonder how other moms do it. Will seems to do some of his best sleep late evening. I need to get my sleep then too. When I was brushing my teeth getting ready for my little nap before Will wakes up, I found myself crying. I would have liked to sit and watch a funny movie tonight. Just to laugh and relax. But I didn’t. Now we have laundry done and the kitchen is somewhat clean.
Balance. I want it.
Housekeeper. I want one :}
On another note, today Will and I went to a postpartum yoga class in Berkeley. The teacher was wonderful. There was only one other mom and baby in class and I wound up chatting with her and exchanging info with her. I meet the nicest people in all of these mom/baby kinds of classes.
Blessed am I.
Will and I had such a lovely morning. We woke, we fed, we bonded, we slept some more. (Now, I did not catch up on my sleep, I just got some. I needed that.)
I feel like the last two days Will and I have been really hitting it off. We are starting to feel comfortable with each other. At least that is what if feels like right now. I think we are both getting more mellow in a way.
One change I noticed in me that has something to do with my part of it is that I have been working on holding space for what Will and I need right now and not so much what other people want for us. I have also gone somewhat inside. Almost like a retreat. I need to honor myself, who I am, and who the mother I want to be is. Its naturally all there already inside. I am just doing a little bit of a better job at nurturing it. I need to. This is how I will unfold and become who I already am. If I am not myself I am nobody. How can a nobody be a good mom, a good partner, a good friend? So, while going inside and focusing more on me (and Will as an extension of me right now) may seem selfish I actually think its selfless.
Well, its 4:40am and I am in my own little world but I suppose that is true no matter what time of day it is especially now that I am in a postpartum period. In blogging and in life I feel both my creativity and my self censorship are not at their fullest or best.
Take care, be well.
~Christine
Today I went to a baby massage class at Elephant Pharm. They give free classes. A new mom told me about it and I told 3 other moms I have met recently. Two of them took me up on taking the class together. I wound up spending the bulk of the time changing a diaper or breastfeeding but I did learn some good stuff in the amount of time that I was able to focus on what the teacher was saying.
My primary goal was to learn how to ease colic. Baby massage offers this as one of its many benefits. Other benefits are that babies who are massaged do better in social situations and in school. It also helps them not to get learning disabilities or, to limit the amount of a disability if they do get one. There were other benefits listed but I don’t at this point recall. My brain is switching off and going to sleep.
After class I went up to the teacher and had her go over how to soothe a colicky baby because I missed parts of it tending to Will. She had me practice on her doll. I asked her to demonstrate on my leg what kind of pressure to use on the baby. I learned the “I Love You” maneuvers. You spell “I” L” “U” (“I Love You”) on their abdomen over their digestive tract. There are nuances that I am too drunk off of sleep deprivation to list now but I found the whole baby massage thing fascinating. I look forward to learning more and doing this with Will.
Later on today I was on the phone with my mom and telling her about the class. While describing to her the I Love You maneuver I enacted the first part just gently on Will and a split second later he emitted a very loud poo/gas situation. Wow.
nite.
Tomorrow Will will be 6 weeks old. I gave birth 6 weeks ago. Wow.
I am still dealing with the “Postpartum Blues”. Its hard to describe to someone what is it like to be experiencing this.
The breastfeeding is going ok but it seems like Will is hungry all the time. I think this is natural and ok. He is gaining weight and has enough pee and poo in a day so all signs point to things going well according to the experts. Its just that when he takes a bottle he is out cold and for longer. Billy and I debate over these issues quite a bit. I have been thinking of what I can do to make things work for every one. I am still mulling it over. I am frustrated and trying not to feel inadequate. My pump is driving me a bit crazy lately. I hate that I can’t get caught up on sleep. This is partly due to the fact that I am breast feeding at every meal, or at least trying. I’m going to go to a lactation support group on Tuesday again to see if I can get help.
Well, here I go to bed, I need that sleep.
Tomorrow is a new day. I pray that it will be easier.
There are so few moments to sleep with a little one. Yesterday and today I did not get to nap during the day. This does happen but two days in a row with little sleep at night is rough. I have been rushing around catching up on chores since Billy got home from work. I feel so ragged. It could be worse though. Really I am thankful for my life, challenging as it it right now.
I am still dealing with the Baby Blues / Postpartum Depression. Today I listened to a speaker that Oprah interviewed on a podcast about Tao. I don’t have any specifics to say about it but I do want to say that it made me realise that I can give so much. Well, not so much now but as much as I CAN give now, I will give. Basically, I have decided that whenever possible I will practice “opposite thinking” and the art of giving so that my issues wont engulf me and suck me down into gloom and doom. So I am cooking up a plan for a meeting of sorts for new moms that will be all about supporting, comradre, and learning. I have already been bringing moms I meet together and that feels nice. And, I share info I have gleaned and they share with me. I want to keep doing this and also make it more organized. Perhaps it will be a weekly meeting with revolving focuses. One week could be me teaching bellydance, another could be a infanct CPR class, etc etc… Anyway, I like this idea. This is just what I would want to participate it, so, why not be the person to inspire and organise it?